I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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