Your mouth is God's brothel.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
