We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
