I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
