also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
