"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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