We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
