The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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