I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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