omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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