I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
