I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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