so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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