Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
