I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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