while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
