Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I bet he comes in French.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
