Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
