We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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