the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
