I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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