ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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