Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
