her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
