I think my vagina is haunted
that's an acceptable place to lick
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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