As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
