there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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