The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
