a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize