I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
