i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
