Need sex. Gaining weight.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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