Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
