cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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