so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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