I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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