dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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