I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
