I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
