i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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