OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
