Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize