YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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