my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
