i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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