Christians are straight up FREAKS
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
