remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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