if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
