she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
