Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
