brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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