Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
