remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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