do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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