fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
