I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
