there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
