Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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