We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize