Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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