I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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