He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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