she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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